Saturday, September 24, 2011

Too Many Baby Showers, Not Enough Weddings!

 by Nova Giovanni

Hello, misguided soul. Are you an unemployed and unmotivated baby making machine? Has your lack of knowing the concept of cause & effect led you to have multiple children outside of wedlock? We all make mistakes, even though a child is a blessed mistake. But, looka here – why do you keep making the SAME mistakes? The sibling rivalry between your children turn into “my daddy loves me more beefs”, “My daddy gives me better gifts than yours does”, “Your dad never comes to see you, because he doesn’t love you”, so on and so forth. Now, your children become school aged with their psychological problems stemming from a troubled youth; and end up affecting OUR children. First of all, I’m not here to judge you. I have a child outside of wedlock also. But, I don’t have CHILDREN outside of wedlock and definitely don’t subscribe to the same pattern of thought as a lot of you. If the following paragraphs offend you – GOOD! The old saying goes, “when you throw a rock into a group of dogs, you can always tell which one you hit – because it’s the one that yelps.” Yelp, hoe. Yelp.
Anyone with an internet connection has witnessed your antics. It goes as follows-
You (the misguided soul) makes online posts/updates about your new fling. It usually has side notes such as: “Missing My Boo”, “The Only One For You”, “2 + 2 = 4ever”, and other corny phrases that small minded people in lust like to write.
Months later, your posts/updates change to you being pregnant. You’re still in the early stages of your pregnancy, so you’re excited. In rare cases, there are even mentions of the child’s father occasionally.
Closer to your due date, is when we all begin to see from your updates that the relationship with the child’s father is deteriorating. You start to make statuses such as, “I don’t need no man to handle mine”, or “Doing what I’ve got to do for me and mine”.
In the last couple of months before the expected birth, you begin to post pictures of the baby shower, your disgusting looking belly, the baby’s crib you’ve set up in the corner of your bedroom inside your mother’s home.
Now, lets fast forward to the baby being born. The first month usually consists of you posting pictures of your newborn, alien faced (because I’ve never seen a newborn that looks ‘cute’ at all) baby, being congratulated on your new baby (AKA your ovaries working properly), and you making generic updates like, “Loving _(insert_weird_baby_name_that_will_hinder_chances_of_future_employment_here)_.”
With that out of the way, the second month consists of drama. Because, even though you say you hate drama- you create drama. So, you start publicly badmouthing the father of your new bundle of joy and poop. Even if what you say is true, WHY on GOD’S GREEN EARTH WOULD YOU TELL THE WORLD?! Riddle me this… when you met him – he had no responsibilities. This grown man doesn’t even have the decency to pay his own mother for still providing him with food and shelter. With that being said, what made you think he’d be a good parent? In fact, did you even think about the PARENTHOOD aspect of having a child? Did you look at a baby as a human being that deserves to be nurtured in the best environment you could possibly provide? Did you even consider giving your new addition a fighting chance, or are they basically a trophy that shows your reproductive system works? Are you raising your offspring to be a productive member of society; or is it just an object for you to dress up and make a Facebook photo album of so you can feed your own attention-hungry ego? I’m not saying its all YOUR fault, it’s the fault of everyone involved. I remember someone saying, “when two losers have sex, only a losing situation can come out of it.” Perhaps, you should exercise using condoms. If you can’t afford condoms, you damn sure can’t afford to be making babies. Nova Knows…
In conclusion, we can’t change what has already happened. However, we can offer a viable solution. To start, stop having unprotected sex until you have the means to provide for a child – PERIOD. GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER! Until you get on your feet, get off your back!!! Second, stop talking bad about your child’s other parent online. Whether you like it or not, you two have to deal with each other. By insulting them on the internet, you’re only creating hostility between the two of you and entertaining strangers. Third, STOP MAKING CHILDREN WITH PEOPLE YOU AREN’T MARRIED TO AND DON’T PLAN ON MARRYING!!! Last but not least, you need to visit and purchase my book, “Ramen Noodle Soup For The Soul” for only 99 cents.
“If it doesn’t apply, let it fly.” – Owen Hart
I Love You,
Nova Giovanni
Twitter – @NovaGiovanni
Facebook – Nova Giovanni
“Ramen Noodle Soup For The Soul” by Nova Giovanni is on for only 99 cents! –
This article was originally featured as a guest blog at-

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